d.immaculate.flaw

six months ago

2011-12-19T05:22:00.000-08:00

Hello there!

It has been a long time since I wrote here. Sorry for not keeping my promise of posting at least once a week.

So our vacation has officially started last Wednesday! praise GOD for helping me get through the first two months of the semester. HE has been truly faithful and gracious towards me! thank YOU LORD!

So last saturday, we had a blast! Yes, the single ladies scheduled lots of activities for that day. Visitation, good news, preparation for our special number for the Bible Quiz and a lot more. Blessed be the name of the LORD! I will share what happened during the day in another blog post. For now, I will share a document I have written last June 17 at 11:04 pm. Here it is:

I read a passage from the book of Mark earlier this evening. It was about the poor widow who has given all of her possessions in the storehouse of the Lord. The whole passage reads:

“And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much.

And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing

And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:

For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.”

-Mark 12:41-44 (KJV)

Having read this, a great deal of things have I come to realize. This widow sure did have a great faith in GOD. She has given all that she possessed at that point of her life. I have started to place myself in her condition which led me to imagine giving everything that I have for the work of the Lord and leaving nothing for myself except for my raiment. Of course that would be a very difficult thing to do, specially with the way Christians live these days. Why is it so difficult for us to give back something which, in the first place, has just been given to us? Who are we to withhold something which GOD has given to us as blessings? Why are we so selfish? It is, perchance, due to our old nature which is by far, truly selfish? It has been our duty to give back what GOD has given us.

It did strike me that it holds true with our relationship and duties to our biological parents. At first, children will be entirely dependent on their parents for everything that they want and need. Afterwards, when they grow older and start earning money, it will be their responsibility to give a part of their salary or wage to their parents to show gratitude for the sacrifices that they have done. Similarly, this is what should happen in our relationship with our HEAVENLY FATHER. Nevertheless, the only difference is we will be continuously dependent on GOD.

"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." -John 15:5

LORD JESUS CHRIST was the One who said this.

Are we worried of what will happen to us in the next few days? Are we thinking of how to save money for the future? These things should never be thought of! We have our GOD who knows our needs well, in fact very well.

“Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

Therefore, take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought of the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

-Matthew 6:25-34 (KJV)

So we better stop thinking of what insurance companies we should trust. Let us all place our worries in GOD’s hands, and besides we are not permanent dwellers here. We’re just doing our work given by our MASTER and someday, after the journey, we’ll be home in GOD’s kingdom. GOD has given his all, even his raiment was destroyed. HE did all of this for us, to save us from our sins. Who are we to act selfishly and withhold what is not ours? Everything was just lent to us by GOD, these precious lives are not ours.

"And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave. and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

-Job 1:21 (KJV)

Are we willing to sacrifice anything and everything for GOD?

He's Always Been Faithful

2011-12-04T05:39:00.000-08:00

Hello there.

It is the LORD'S day today! And yes, i am back on track. Meaning, i have been in the church for the whole day!!! :)

(nangangapa ako sa keyboard. I'm using Ovo, not Missy.)

Anyway, it's exactly 9:41 pm here and i am supposed to be doing my homework in Hum 1. Our professor asked us to choose our favorite song to present on class. i picked He's Always Been Faithful by Sara Groves! It's a really good song and it is very applicable in my life, in every Baptist's life, indeed!

Here's the link, listen to it! It's really good!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTLfQ05Otk0

i was analyzing the song and thinking of my answers for the guide questions. i was about to open Ms Word when i thought, bakit hindi ko na lang gawing blog post? Oo nga no?! HAHAHA.

And so here it is. :)

What is the song about?

It is about GOD's faithfulness! How HE fulfills HIS promises and how HE turns every situation for our benefit. Mainly, for me, it is GOD being there with me all the time despite my shortcomings and sins.

Why do you like it?

Like what i mentioned earlier, this song holds true for me. It is very applicable and precisely written.

Significant Lines?

"Season by season, i watched HIM amazed, in awe of the mystery of HIS perfect ways."

For the first part, i find it really amazing when i look around GOD's creation. Earth is a very good place had it not been destroyed by man. Every night, when i see stars and the moon, even when i just look up in the sky, i feel so amazed and i feel so happy seeing more of what GOD had done. A beautiful sunset, a quiet morning with singing birds, it's a treat from GOD. :) For the second part, HIS ways are really perfect. i get to realize and say to myself, now i know why that happened to me. GOD has a purpose. It is surprising when you see the connection of things which happened months, or years apart. They're just awesome.

"i can't remember a trial or a pain HE did not recycle to bring me gain."

Again, HE has a purpose. Besides, if life has been filled with just happiness, then people will never turn to GOD. Hardships make one learn. They're given to us by GOD not to hurt us but to test and teach us things. Sometimes, if we don't get to learn the lesson at the onset, GOD allows us to learn it the hard way. :)

"i can't remember one single regret in serving GOD only and trusting HIS hand."

HE's the most loyal and faithful companion i have. When you leave some people, they do likewise. When you hurt them, revenge is a possible option. But with GOD, leave HIM, HE'll be there when i get back. When i stumble, HE stumbles with me and picks me up. When i feel so lonely, HE'll never fail to make me happy. HE's the only ONE who understands and loves me unconditionally. That's why i get disappointed with myself when i turn my back on HIM. What wrong did HE do to me for me to leave HIM like that? None. That's why I have no regrets in serving HIM only.

"GOD has been faithful, HE will be again."

Enough said. HE will be, rest assured. HE's always there! i love you GOD! :)

Describe the language.

The language is not symbolic. In fact, it is concrete in relaying the content. But as for the details of the situations and truths presented, it is not specifically mentioned. It is filled with thanksgiving. Although, you don't see the word "thanks", you can feel that this song is really for thanking and praising GOD for HIS faithfulness. Also, you can feel the deep contentment of this song. Again you don't see the word "contented" but it is present specially when this song is sang.

One would also see how the 3 tenses, the past, present and future are incorporated in this song. It mainly tells us that GOD is faithful all throughout the beginning till forever.

That's all for now! :)

may GOD be praised and glorified in all that i do. may my life be a living testimony. LORD GOD, please help me, i am nothing without YOU. YOU are faithful, please help me to be faithful to YOU and YOU alone. :)

thanksgiving and honor be given only to YOU, O GOD!!! :)

I'm Disappointed With Frances

2011-11-29T04:44:00.000-08:00

Hello there!

Hmmm. This day has been seemingly short because we only had to attend one subject.

Yeah, I know. Travel time is longer than the class hours. . . And the fare. :( Oh well, never complain! :D GOD has a purpose for everything. :)

So ysa and I ate at McDo before class because we really wanted to go home at 10 am. HAHAHA

Its' our first time to go home that early... I was wondering what I was going to eat and I saw the paper placed on the top of the tray. It advertises egg mcmuffin and I read the details...

Ayun, na-PR nako. Canadian bacon, english bread and eggs! HAHAHAHA It is delicious!!! Sulit ang 55 pesos ko.

In Hum1, oh yeah, I need to text Nico about the homework. Wait a minute... Still waiting to be registered for the texting promo of TM... :)

So I was saying, in Hum1, my classmates read the character sketches they made for their activity partners. I am very thankful to GOD that we didn't recite because I realized my work is not like theirs. It was my first time to make a character sketch and I really missed a lot of details. Now I learned something new. :)

We went home early!

Today, I am truly disappointed and perhaps angry at myself....

I am disappointing GOD. Truly. I was planning to give a tract to Kuya Photox but I did not. :( And to the other ones whom I met in the way. :( I did not even mind my elementary schoolmate! No greeting. No smile. No tract giving. Nothing! What a Christian you are France. :(

I keep on asking HIM for courage but the problem rests in me! :| Naiinis ako sa sarili ko. Naiinis na din siguro sa akin si GOD. Ang dami kong oportunidad na sinasayang. Nanghihinayang ako pero wala naman akong ginagawa! Yun yung nakakainis na parte doon eh. Ano ba naman France, baka gusto mong kumilos.

>>Listening to Trust His Heart :)

I am wondering what song will I share on Friday. He's Always Been Faithful? I am Thine O LORD? To Rescue A Sinner Like Me? There are too many good songs to be used for praising and honoring GOD! :)

Aside from that, I am deeply irritated with what I thought of my classmate earlier and my watching of top model! Napakasama nung naisip kong yun!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!! I promised GOD not to watch that eh! It's a source of sins for me. :(

Look, I broke my promise. :( HUHUHUHUHU Literally irritated with myself. :(

What now? Willl I continue displeasing my only Audience? Will I disobey HIM again? Will I continue hurting HIM?

No. I must do something. GOD, I am sorry. I am sorry because I continue sinning. I am sorry for hurting YOU. Please forgive me and help me live a life that will be pleasing and honorable in YOUR sight. Please do help me in keeping my promises to YOU. In JESUS CHRIST's name my SAVIOR and LORD, and in the power of the HOLY SPIRIT this i pray. Amen.

GOSSIP : STOP IT!

2011-11-28T04:43:00.000-08:00

I was in a hurry last night because my mom was angry for a reason I wouldn't want to say. HAHA. And, she wanted me to sleep! :0 So there.

Hmm, as of now, I am not yet done with the character sketch -our homework for Hum1! Technically, I am done writing but ethically, I want to add more. However, I do not know what to put because I have shared everything I learned about my activity partner. Anyway, I must get on to it. Wait for a few moments. . .

Okay. I can't add anything more to it. Now, I am asking Christa to read my work. HAHAHA. And Joshua's bothering me here. I don't want to get mad. hehe

I read the Daily Bread this morning, the English version and it was about gossip.

Ouch! I just recently committed a violation regarding gossipping and I hate myself. :<

"Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth." -Proverbs 26:20

The word of GOD is really timely!

"For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." -Hebrews 4:12

So today, I avoided listening to gossip as much as possible. By GOD's grace, I can overcome this evil habit!

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." -Philippians 4:13

We watched Paper Dolls and I didn't like it. I didn't want to see anything malicious or whatever you call it. . . So there.

I ate Hungarian for lunch and we just stayed in the stone table farthest from the crowd. HAHA

Hours passed and I added some things in my paper, went online and looked at ysa's pictures. Likewise, I showed some pictures to her.

I tried to eat the food sold at the new pasta stall at gab caf. I ordered pesto. It was good but the O I L!!! :| I didn't finish it because I was worried for my heart.

GOD will bring me out of this affliction. I will wait on HIM. :)

HE's just watching over me. And looking at what I will do.

HE will bring me out of these trials, in HIS time, which is perfect!

to GOD and LORD JESUS CHRIST be dominion and praises in all of creation!!! :)

Weekly Post?!

2011-11-27T06:17:00.000-08:00

I was browsing my blog posts and I enjoyed seeing verses and my thoughts about GOD's words.

It's really been a long time since I posted here.

Now, I promise to write at least once a week here for my learning from GOD's teachings!

The thought of it makes me soooooo excited!

Hmmm, so far what I have learned was mostly about humility and GOD's will.

I want to be humble. Cause you see I am in NO RIGHT to boast. All of us are equal, we are ALL SINNERS in GOD's eyes. Only because of our belief in LORD JESUS CHRIST can we be pleasing in our Heavenly Father's sight. :)

Wala akong karapatang magyabang! Kung nasaan ako, kung anong mayroon ako at kung ano man ang aking nagawa, na akala ng iba ako ang may gawa, ang lahat ng ito ay dahil sa DIYOS.

All right. For now I will sleep!

Bukas na lang uli!

may GOD bless you!

sambahin, papurihin at dakilain lamang ang DIYOS na buhay at ang kanyang bugtong na anak na si KRISTO HESUS! :)

ASTHMA ATTACK

2011-11-27T02:20:00.000-08:00

I am not liking this.

My sickness is getting in the way of my service to GOD.

Right now, I am not allowed to go to the evening service. What's worse is my parents did not allow me to attend the monthly cottage fellowship and the choir practice.

And it is all because of my asthma.

Yes, it did attack me last tuesday. It caught me by surprise, actually.

I knew my cough and colds were going there but I did not expect that it would be that severe. I wasn't able to sleep properly. Hindi ako makahinga, napakahirap.

I even went to my room to check if the ventilation there could make me sleep. But it did not.

So I went back to the other room. I tried everything and I prayed to GOD, asking HIM to make me sleep. And HE made me sleep. THANK YOU LORD.

That night, I thought I was going to die. I know someone who died because of asthma. And don't ever laugh. Having asthma is not easy. Believe me. It's no joke. i THANK GOD FOR MAKING ME LIVE AND SEE MORE OF HIS LOVE. AND I THANK HIM FOR GIVING ME PARENTS WHO ARE SO MUCH WORRIED THAT THEY'D EVEN BRING ME TO SCHOOL. I AM BLESSED AND I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO GOD. :)

Right now, I am feeling weak, spiritually weak. I haven't taught my students. I haven't sang a special number and I haven't listened to this evening's message. :( I feel like I am very far away from GOD. :(

My evil thoughts are bothering me again. AND I HATE IT!

Anyway, GOD is watching over me. He will keep me under HIS grace.

Hindi NIYA ako iiwan! Kailan ba SIYA umalis? Ako lang naman yung palaging nang-iiwan sa KANYA eh.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." -Psalm 139:23-24

GOD will deliver me from all of these. GOD IS IN ME AND I IN HIM. :)

He will me under HIS grace today, tomorrow, always, forever!

When LORD JESUS CHRIST comes back, all of these will be gone. ALL WILL BE PERFECT, ACCORDING TO GOD'S PLANS. :)

Praises, honor, glory and thanksgiving be only to GOD and LORD JESUS CHRIST forever!

PATIENCE. FAITH. LOVE WILL LEAD YOU BACK TO HIM.

2011-07-04T07:59:00.000-07:00

I am experiencing it again. It was before February 19. Just a few months ago. And now here it goes again. I've looked into my older posts and saw how much I had back then.

I have been here. God has taken me out.

He will deliver me again, this I claim in His name through His Son, His only Son who died on the cross for my sins, and in the power of the Holy Spirit.

I am with God. He is with me.I am in Jesus Christ and He in me. :)

TO GOD BE THE GLORY ONLY FOREVER AND EVER.

Lessons Learned

2011-04-21T03:17:00.000-07:00

Yes. I did. :)

Well what really happened was quite shocking, for me.

And being me, yes I did cry. :< Ha.

It was the eighth day of the fourth month of this year when my classmate broke the silence of my sumer vacation with a wall post. I just finished watching Sydney White so I was still in a state of illusion and under the "screen theory" sickness. And I checked my FB account and BAM!

Our CD for the panel discussion is not working.

Text people. Come on. No. Call them. I was panicking like I don't know.

Called them and knew that we should submit another CD or copy before the submission of grades.

Go online. Check CRS. Look for the last day for submission of grades. Bang! It is that day and 5 o'clock was just in the corner.

My friend got her friend to pick the CD up from school and see what can be done about it.

Yeah, I was still crying. God will get me through this. I knew that AND I REALLY CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT FELT SO HARD TO STOP CRYING AT THAT TIME.

We were leaving for Singapore the next day. I will be out of the country for days and I can not communicate with them.

We were given till Monday to pass another one, I mean a working CD.

And so like what my granny says and what I know, I should and I will leave it in God's hands.

I can't really do anything. This was the time when I really felt that I have no control of the situation. Well, yeah never really had control of any situation. God was the One, is the One and will always be the One in charge of the boat. Perhaps I was again caught up in an illusion that I have control of things, which is bad.

At that time, during those days, I enjoyed myself in Singapore and I did temporarily set aside this problem.

But time flies when you are starting to really enjoy. Hahaha :D

Time to go home and check reality. I mean go back to the original side of reality.

Yes, nothing happened over the weekend. We were given an INC for our comm3 grade.

And oh boy, I did cry. Really.

Eventually, I got tired of it last saturday and I even got colds because of it.

Today is the twentieth day of the fourth month. Earlier this day, we conducted our panel discussion. PRAISE GOD. :)

I never knew how and when and where and why and what but God did make a way.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zo3fJYtS-o

There seemed to be no way but He sure did make one. :)

You see it was painful for me.

But God sometimes uses pain to make us learn the lesson efficiently.

And I am thankful that I have gone through all these for I have realized a lot of things, a great deal in fact.

1. God never leaves you. He never promised that you will not experience hardships and difficult times but He assured us that He will be there through and through. :)

2. God has been and WILL ALWAYS BE FAITHFUL AND TRUE.

3. He has a time for everything. Maybe I was rushing things. I badly wanted to conduct the discussion as soon as possible and I even found myself willing to sacrifice a Sunday for that? Oh boy, it was shameful for me knowing that Matthew 6:33 is one of my favorite Bible verses.

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33

Everything should happen according to His will and no matter what angle we look into, His is always the best. Really. :)

4. Life will never be complete without these tough times. They're considered spices. And they're God's way of showing that we still have a lot of things to learn. He's there for us throughout the entire process so we have nothing to fear. :D

5. I am lacking in faith. :(((((

6. I have a long way to go for spiritual maturity. :( But God will help me get there. :D

7. My priorities are not good. They need to be changed.

"Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth."- Colossians 3:2

8. I wanted to do things my way. Which will point out my selfishness. :(

9. Nothing is impossible with God. "But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible."- Matthew 19:26

10. God still and will again, give us reasons to be thankful of (specially in these crucial moments). Our prof gave us an INC, not something worse. This has been pointed out by my friend of mine. And I was humiliated, deep inside for the mere fact that through this whole time, I was acting like I will die. :(((( I have seen how God made me realize that He is still in full control, He always is, and always will be :) Praise Him for everything.

Again, all praise, honor and glory should be given back to God, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who sustains our needs with the riches of His grace and glory through Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. :)

He is and will always be the GREATEST TEACHER. :)

Lessons learned. Thank you and praise you, God. :)

RECAP. MY LIFE. 101

2011-04-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know it has been days since I last wrote here. Laziness attacked me, I am deeply sorry.

So what happened? Hmm, lemme remember. . .

This week is really filled with blessings, I say. God has again been generous towards me. :D May His name be glorified. :)

The final grades of our Linguistics 100 class were out by Monday and so was our OrCom 140.

Through God's grace, I was able to make it. :) I surely couldn't have done it without Him. Everything was just overwhelming. :)

Tuesday was the day when we made our paper for the case study. Yeah, we crammed again. :< As much as I hate cramming, I could not do anything anymore cause, well, this time, unfortunately, it was a bed of my own making. Yeah, Friday Slack Day. :(

Anyway, problems were brewing by the 8th hour or so of the evening and we started to panic and be paranoids again. Nonetheless, through God's faithfulness, He just gave us what we needed. The general scenario was we didn't have the signature of our resource person and we needed to have it the next day, which is logically, wednesday, the final submission of the case study. HAHA :(

Wednesday came like a swift chilling breeze cause I woke up at 9:49 am.

Prayer meeting was good and the message of God was truly awakening. It's mostly comparing and contrasting the forms and ways of worship. The Old Testament days can be described as the days of Moses, the patriarchs, prophets and kings, basically before our Savior, Lord Jesus Christ was made in the likeness of men. People from that time were filled with fear and they knew that God was very powerful. Nevertheless their knowledge of our Creator stopped at that. Unlike the New Testament days, the people didn't know much about Him. We are lucky, very lucky enough to know and be able to know more about God. It's already there in front of us; all we have to do is read it. And I, for one, is guilty of not often reading His Word. Humility, fear, reverence, respect (I am sorry I forgot the others, I will add them here tomorrow) should comprise our attitudes when we worship and speak with our Almighty Father. It was a really nice reminder for us to set our hearts and minds right for the Lord. IT IS TRULY A PRIVILEGE TO SERVE, WORSHIP AND DIRECTLY TALK TO GOD ANYTIME AND ANYWHERE WE ARE.

As for today, I hanged out with my best buds at Waltermart (Sta. Clara). Anna couldn't make it for it was her mom's birthday. And regarding the place, I am sorry. My parents won't let me go to Manila or anywhere out of Bulacan, I guess. Nevertheless, we had loads of fun together. It's not really the place which matters; what is important is we were together. Aww. :D

I missed them so much so my apologies for the mushy stuff.

So that'll be all. I just wanted to recall and write about what happened for the past few days. :)

I know you don't care and so do I. Hahaha Nah. Kidding.

One last thought, what if I am the lost princess of England? Huh? HAHA :))

May God be praised in everything. :)

FOR HIS MAJESTY, THE KING OF KINGS, THE LORD OF LORDS

2011-04-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

Here's a poem that I made today, April 1, 2011 (Cite the author if this will be used [assuming na may magtatangkang gumamit :) ])

Are you getting tired of all these troubles?

Have you been badly hurt with all your stumbles?

Did you ever think of giving it all up?

Is it in your wishes for life to stop?

If you would want your life to end,

Stop for a while and give your neck a bend.

Look above and see more of life.

There is something weighing more than strife.

Have you ever thought of God above?

Did you doubt His existence and His love?

Do you feel that He left you alone in this world

Because your life seems to be faultily twirled?

Have faith in God and see His concern.

Seek His Word and the truth you’ll discern.

Leave your cares and worries at His feet;

Willingly allow your heart and His love meet

To all who believes in Him, He promised to give rest.

Come to Him and witness yourself pass life’s test.

All you have to do is trust His name

And in all faith, have His promises claimed.

Look around you and see the truth;

Open your eyes and see that nothing will soothe.

No one in this world will stay with you forever.

Realize that materials things will time tear asunder.

You were never alone in the first place,

God has just been behind you all these days

He’s just waiting for you to surrender all

That’s why He sent His Son to die for your soul

My friend, are you still feeling at loss?

Haven’t you found the way of the cross?

Do you still keep that heavy burden with you?

Come to our Savior, Jesus Christ, He’ll know what to do.

Repent for all the sins you have committed.

Let Christ’s blood have you cleansed and perfected.

His death on the cross proved God’s love for you;

He’s waiting for your heart to accept Him, now what will you do?

APRIL 1, 2011

Around 10-11 pm

May God be praised and glorified forever and ever. :)

On Siblings

2011-03-31T20:36:00.000-07:00

Whooooo. So much for sleeping! :)

Hahahaha Slept at 11 and woke up at 9:30. :D Well, I set the alarm at 6, then 7:30 but I chose to sleep again. HAHAHA I need to catch up on my sleeping habit.

I felt weird, knowing that I should already be doing something by 9 o'clock. Yes that's my routine. Nevertheless, I'm happy to know that I was really REALLY able to get some good sleep. Okay how many times did I mention the word sleep? :))

I was taking a bath when I heard my grandma talking and it turned out that my eight year old cousin was receiving an earful of homily. :))

He was again doing naughty things and perhaps, being too noisy and saying senseless remarks (just like me). What I'm worried about is when my granny started comparing him to our uncle, who when he was young, was as timid as an i-don't-know-what. He never gives out an air of immaturity, so in short, he was a disciplined boy.

I never had a brother nor a sister so I don't know how it feels like to be compared. I don't know how my cousin feels but because of the media, I think that sometimes, it is not a good feeling and it is oftentimes associated with "sibling fights".

Now speaking of siblings... I don't have any. I am the only child of the family and well, I am quite happy with that. I have all the attention of the WHOLE FAMILY, meaning the extended one so I it was difficult for me when this little cousin of mine came into the picture.

Of course I outgrew the tantrums whenever he gets to be given something I don't have. :))

Do I ever want to have a sibling? Now, yes. An older brother, to be exact. I DON'T WANT A SISTER. :D

That's all I want to say. I want a kuya but it will never happen in reality. HAHAHA :))

So I'll just enjoy the company of my nauughty cousin and make do and BE CONTENT with whatever God gave and will give me. :)

CRAZY

2011-03-31T04:20:00.001-07:00

Everything's almost over now. Praise be to God for everything that He has done for me. Whatever I have, whatever I have done and wherever I am, it is ALL because of Him. May His name be glorified forver and ever. I remember the first few weeks of this semester and my worrying of how I will ever get through the course requirements. I have four major subjects and 2 GEs (I think I have mentioned this before :D ) plus PE. :) Armies of papers, throngs of reports, humongous research proposal, time eaters called case studies, everyday companion called quizzes and a lot more fun. :) HAHAHA Without God's unending grace and mercy, I couldn't have gone through all these. Then again, without Him, I am NOTHING. :)

The sem's finally reaching its termination (yeah 104). Sleepless nights are about to be out of our routine. And this crazy little thing called love, infatuation, craziness or whatever you'd like to call it, is I guess, about to end.

Yeah, I guess it is about to end as well. Person A is leaving the institution and I will no longer see him.

Ysa and Noleen, if you are reading this, stop now. Haha. If you don't want my image to be stereotyped as emotional and mushy, just skip this blog entry. :)) I have to get these feelings out, so as to relieve myself of the burden. :D LOL

Anyway, it started out at the "wrongest" of time. It is too late, about the second or third week of march.

I stalked him, yeah, here on the internet. :)) I did know a great deal of things about him and I have to admit that I was surprised.

This person has proven to be "bigger" than he is. I AM NOT STEREOTYPING HIM. I LIKE HIM JUST THE WAY HE IS. :))

And I don't want it to end just yet. I don't want my feelings to change just yet. Just when I have forgotten the "past encounters with person b" and finally realized that I am over him, will I again, have to endure another ending?

I am quite sure that today would be the last day that I'd be seeing him at school. I knew he'll be here today and I asked God if I could see him, at first I asked if I could meet him but I guess that was much of a crazy request and so I changed the MEET HIM to SEE HIM. And God answered my prayer with a yes. I saw him. Thank you Lord. :)

I saw him when I was not expecting him to be around. I was caught off guard, barefoot, to be precise. Nevertheless, I was relieved. :) I felt sadness and joy all at the same time for I knew that it is perhaps the last time I am going to see him personally. I guess for the next few days, weeks, months, I'll have to rely on sweet tweets and blog entries. Now this is one good way of testing the hyperpersonal perspective of Walther (though of course, we'd not be communicating through and through. He won't even now that I am receiving information about him).

You may ask what is happening to me? I don't know as well. It all seems crazy. Loving a person you don't even talk to? Could have it been possible that I formed a strong sense of attachment to this person? I don't know. Is this even normal?

I don't want it to end just yet.

But I'll have to stop typing down my feelings.

It just makes me feel so weird.

Let's just see what will happen next.

If it God's will for us to see and perhaps, meet each other in the future, then let it be done.

But if not, then so be it. :)

But for now, I don't want it to end just yet.

Words, Feelings, Life, Words

2011-03-25T03:40:00.000-07:00

I was reviewing this morning at the library when words started to bug me. NatSci 8 lectures were on my laptop so the temptation to write was even greater. After finishing the powerpoint presentation for the tingguian tribe, I finally laid these thoughts into words. I told myself, I have to write this. I just have to. Hahahaha and so I did. :))

By the way, my pimple's aching sore. :'(

By God's grace, I was able to answer the exam questions :)

So as to avoid much digression, here's what I wrote earlier.

Several things need to be done although my mind speaks to me, although the words play with me, I can not, I should not and I will not write. It is very unfortunate that such inspiration to lay down these unspoken words can not be consummated into something literary. Why does it have to come at this point in time? I have waited for such long and yet, it seems that it will again, slip away from my weak hands. I don’t know what course of action to take. I do not want to write but I have to. I have to stop myself but I want to write. Now see how ironic things are. See how I just wanted to waste my time here.

I have a forthcoming examination in one of our courses. I have to finish studying before the eleventh hour has come into itself. Stop. I have to stop but I don’t want to.

Where did this inspiration come from? I will not say. I dare not write of it here, I have this surety that my mind will flutter somewhere far from reality if I do so.

I just hope that this inspiration will stay longer than the usual. I do not need any hint of transience in anything. Even this wretched emotion I am holding should not go away that easily. As long as I hear his unspoken words, I am quite certain that it will go on. I need to hear from him today. Nonetheless, I was the one who chose to stay away from him and his feelings. See how again, ironic things are.

Is this all but madness? I am quite unsure.

I don’t want to write here, more so that it is not something that will move me, move my reader and move him, if in any quaint case, he takes interest in reading my feelings as well.

And now I stop. Finally.

Gold

2011-03-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

Good morning. :)

Today is March 24, thursday. Last night, I slept at around 12:30. Now I woke up at 5:20. I should be studying for natsci 8 at exactly six a.m.

It's 5:48 so I figured I should share what I've read from the Bible and from the daily bread :D

Job 1:13-22 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job+1%3A13-22&version=KJV

The passage was entitled Worst Possible Scenario:)

As we all know, Job was tried. The devil actually wanted to see what Job will do if all his properties and loved ones will be taken away. He was hoping that Job would sin against God what actually happened was the reverse; this man even praised God.

I guess we should all be like him. Hehehehehe :))

Though I, for one, surely is not like him. When trials come my way, I get scared. And oftentimes, I cry. HAHAHA THIS NEEDS TO BE CHANGED.

I remember a very beautiful quote my friend's sister sent me. It says something like this: "Don't you ever question God when you experience trials and problems. Did you ever question Him when you were happy?

Nope. Of course we don't ask God why things are like this or like that when we are in cloud 9:)

I hope the time will come when I can be truly thankful of everything that comes my way.

I hope I'll be happy and content with whatever God provides.

I hope when trials and tests given by God come, I'll not be terrified but instead trust and have faith in Him and in His mercy and love.

May His name praised and glorified forever and ever :)

Taking it from Job, "But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." -Job 23:20

March 23, 2011

2011-03-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

Exam in natsci 8 will be on friday (today is WEDNESDAY)...

Hmm what happened today?

Well someone reported in OC104 about CMC. :) Hehehe

And my professor got a new look. :)) heehee just sharing.

I really should not be writing here in the first place for I have lotsa things to do. Besides, getting some good sleep is needed as well... BADLY NEEDED.

Anyway, the poster presentation for 140 started yesterday, march 22. It was a fun event, though stress, is again, present. Expenses are bigger than our tarps, by the way. HAHAHA But it is still FUN. It all boils down to that (BTW, My friend noticed how much OrCom peeps use that phrase. Why so? I don't really know...)

It all cools up to that. :)) HAHAHAHA Hey, get some sleep, dude, seriously...

So there, I ate with my friends and they left me for rob. Yeah. I know. Rob...

I sat down under that tree in the parking lot with an unfinished poem in my laptop. I decided not to finish it. So it's final, I won't continue with it. The journey's quite getting darker so I didn't want to pursue it.

Anyway, my friend and I, yes the boils-down-person, started making our 107 paper in front of the department because some person might want to read and ask some questions about our pretty poster but apparently, no one did. :)) Someone asked a question though not really a scary one.

I gave out handouts, though. And whenever I do this and approach whoever gets in the radius, perimeter, area, whatsoever of our poster, another friend of mine says, Look, she's gazelling again". Yeah a new verb... Taken from the word gazelle, so if you apply linguistic word formations, she did some conversion there. HAHAHAHA :)) I hope I'm right. . .

Then we had our make up class in comm3.

Speeches of my classmates were good and amusing. :D

This is an awesome day. Hahaha. Got to go for now because I will attend to my guest, Sleep.

Praise God for all of these things :)

Like A Vapor

2011-03-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

Asked my friend what theme she wanted for my debut. She said, Old English. :)

I approve of that.

The question is, is it feasible?

:) But the more important question is, will I really have a "debut" for my 18th birthday?

:)) But the most important question is am I still alive by that time?

No one knows. Only God does. :)

"Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."

-James 4:14

God giveth and taketh life. Blessed be His name forever and ever. :)

FOR GOD'S GLORY

2011-03-22T05:48:00.000-07:00

The next requirement for comm3 after the impromptu speech is the extemporaneous speech. Yep.

I never knew that the "submission" for this course's requirements would happen one after the other. hahaha

I gave three topics which are to be checked by our professor. First was BPES, second was Anne Boleyn and third was something about commuting and stuffs.

I badly wanted to talk about Lady Anne but I guess God didn't want that.

Again, let His will on earth be done. :) He knows what is best for us.

DEFINITELY.

Again, God has showed His love and faithfulness to His Word. The extemporaneous speech turned out to be VERY VERY GOOD. HAHAHA IN MY OPINION. AND THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. JK LOL. Without His grace, it wouldn't be made possible.

Wait I have to apologize. Tonight, I am not writing as an orcommunicologist.

Tonight, I am writing as an eager person who wants to share her feelings and the blessings that God has showered upon her. :)) So forget the transition markers and the grammar checker... :D

I talked about Blepharophimosis Ptosis Epicanthus Inversus Syndrome.

I will not be talking much about it here because it compromises 50% of my identity.

As much as possible, I'd still want to keep my anonymity.

Words are now rhyming.

I can here them calling.

I guess I really have to write a poem.

Since I will not tell anything about BPES, I'd just give you the summary step of my speech plan. :))

"Now you know what blepahrophimosis is. I just hope you won’t forget the spelling. Then again, I am not here to solicit pity from you nor force you that I am beautiful. Just kidding. Perchance this is my little way of sharing you my belief that life isn’t all about being part of the bigger crowd; sometimes, one has just yet to realize that God has made each and everyone of us uniquely for His purpose and glory. Then again, realizing the beauty of what God has given you is still one of the best reasons for contentment. Taking it from a radio commentator, life is not a series of chances but a series of choices. My condition did not happen by chance. It is God’s will and I’ve finally made my choice after all these confusing years. I chose to leave self pity. I chose to be happy with whatever I have. I chose not to let other people affect me. It’s my choice and you can’t do anything about it."

Now I can see why God approved BPES instead of Anne Boleyn. He should be the one glorified, no one else and nothing else. :)

Good night. May God bless you. :)

LOVE AT LAST SIGHT

2011-03-22T05:27:00.000-07:00

I have to say it here.

I am afraid to disclose this piece of information to anyone right now.

And if ever they see this, hahaha, well, good for me. :)) HAHAHA

I've seen this person last thursday.

He saw me perhaps and I don't know why but it made me feel like he was extra looky that day.

We've seen each other a couple of times before. I spent some time with him across the long table at the reserved section of the library but we barely minded each other's presence. It's like, okay this person's here. I'll go on and do what I must.

Going back, I did not know what has gotten into me but I found him extra cute that day. HAHAHA

Stress? Lack of sleep? I don't know. Well, lotsa people fuss over him when we were in first year cause they say he's cute. But I was too apathetic that time... HAHAHA :D

Anyway, yesterday, I was with my friend because we were figuring out what to do with our report. It was past 5 and I was being, again, subjected to stress and pressure.

He came.

He approached us cause my friend happens to be his friend. So in short, we have a mutual friend. LOL :)) (I really have to get some good sleep. The structuring of my sentences are getting affected.))

He started talking, and the voice-(kung teddy bear ka lang...)

HAHAHA I did not look at him cause I know that I don't know what to do if he looks at me. HAHAHA

And today, yes today. I SAW HIM AGAIN. :))

By this time, I made up my mind.

I am going to check this person's facebook account as soon as I get home. And checked it was.

Not only facebook but his blogs and other "stuffs".

And sad to say, I fell in love with the person I am "stalking".

I fell in love with a person I don't know.

I fell in love with an image which is portrayed virtually.

I fell in love. Too bad. He's graduating.

No more chances of seeing one another. No more chances of glancing... Hahahaha

If I knew this would happen, I should have paid attention to his presence in the library.

I should have looked at him in the eye.

I should have summoned the courage to approach him or perhaps just throw a smile, back in that place where no one could see.

At last, the inspiration to write another poem has come.

Too bad, time restricts me.

Nonetheless, I'd write.

I've waited for this opportunity for quite some time.

I can't let it go just yet.

IMPROMPTU?

2011-03-18T03:18:00.001-07:00

Hi. I'm back. Well, I still have lots of things to do but I might as well spend some time placing my feelings here. Hahahaha They're too much??? Perchance.

I was disappointed. My impromptu speech was not good, definitely not good. Hehehehe Nonetheless, I thank God it's over. But most importantly, I thank Him and praise Him for talking to me and giving me just what I needed the most- COMFORT.

I was really sad but I did not cry at school. I didn't want to cry. :P Anyway, as I got home, I read a passage from the Bible, which is the 46th chapter of the book of Psalms. Here's a link, read it.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+46&version=KJV

If you have time to read my senseless blog, you must have ALL the time to read the Word of God. :)

The 10th verse is really uplifting. I should not fret. I should not be gloomy for a long time because God has a purpose for that occurrence, In addition, the story from the daily bread was very timely! It talks about God being good all the time. Would you still consider Him good if you experience trials and afflictions? Of course. These are for our own good! :)

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+5%3A3-5&version=KJV

Look that one up. :)

What made me cry was when I read the words, (nonverbatim) God does not promise you that you will not experience troubles but be assured that you will not be alone when you go through them.

It was like God was patting my back and saying that He's there for me, He will never leave me and He knows what is best for me. :)

That is enough to relieve me of my pain.

It will perhaps take some time before I stop flinching when I hear the word "IMPROMPTU" but what is important is the fact that that day will come, through God's overflowing grace. :)

May His name be praised and glorified forever and ever. :)

DISAPPOINTMENT

2011-03-07T06:13:00.000-08:00

I am disappointed with myself.

How could I let such opportunity pass by?

How could I let it go just like that?

I have not done my responsibility again and yes, I even ran away from it. Literally.

I hope this time, I'll really learn my lesson. :)

Pffftssss. I am just really disappointed, I am at fault and I have comiitted this sin. :(

I am sorry God.

COLLEGE FEELINGS

2011-03-07T05:52:00.000-08:00

Dear ***********,

I'm not really so sure if I spelled your name correctly. But oh well, it doesn't really matter cause you won't be reading this.

How are you? I've seen you today. For a few hours. As usual, I glanced at you. I don't really know if you're looking at me. I don't want to look at you directly...

Why am I writing a letter to you? I don't know. Would I want to say my feelings? Prolly yes. Would I want you to hear it? Nope.

I can not express the right words. I can't really understand myself.

I don't know if I like you?

Love you? No?

Maybe?

I am confused.

I didn't even know what to do when you touched me earlier. Should I stay calm? Should I walk away. The latter I did. And . . . Perhaps I did regret it cause you walked away too...

WHAT SHOULD I DO? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME.

This girl is in love? In crush? Infatuated?

And she doesn't know how to react every time he comes near. every time he looks at her, every time their hands accidentally make contact, every time he says something weird and mushy...

Tell her. Please. Tell her. She doesn't know. She just doesn't know what to do.

Tell her. Tell me.

-A.

My Hair Glows When I Sing

2011-02-20T05:39:00.000-08:00

Yeah.

In my dreams. :D

Hahaha. So as promised, here's my post about TANGLED!

Hahaha. Who am I talking to? You? Nope. :P

Anyway, I watched TANGLED yesterday and I say it is one of the best movies I've seen.

I don't want to add much details about the plot cause I would never want to be called a SPOILER because I do hate spoilers. Ask my friends for verification. :D

Haha well. Mother Gothel's still there but not as an ugly woman. She looked rather young and sexy. Haha And to put it in one of my professor's words, a "passive aggressive mother" (Inton, 2011)

The plot was really awesome, yes I am FORCING you to watch it. Plus there are two cute and funny animals/friends too. One's a horse and the other's a chameleon. :))

Haha :) Well, Rapunzel's hair is long and when I say LONG, I mean it to be VERY LONG. :) From the title of this post, I hope you've been able to get an inkling on her hair's "characteristics"/ "properties".

People have been asking me all the time, "Don't you have plans of cutting your hair?" or they sometimes order me, "Cut your hair", which is weird, VERY WEIRD in fact.

I don't want to cut it people, I will only cut to get rid of the split ends. I will not go to the salon to ask em barberssss to trim my hair cause if I say trim, they'd cut an inch or two. :( That's not really nice. Hahaha :)) OC-OC?

Besides, I have a very special reason for not cutting my hair. And that, I won't tell. :)

Ciao!

Oh So Random! :P

2011-02-19T22:00:00.001-08:00

My father and my uncle are watching some action film out there.

And yes, I can hear the sound effects clearly.

My door is vibrating cause of the VERY loud sounds. :((

I hope they can still hear me after watching that movie. :) hehehe

This is a very random post because I don't know where this will focus on. Haha

I'm listening to the "Old Rugged Cross" now. This is a very meaningful and blessing-filled song, you have to listen to it. Here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Za1-e9zuGV0&feature=related

:) As of the moment, I'm talking to one of my high school BFFs via facebook.

I watched tangled yesterday and my next post will be about it so don't worry. :D hahaha

It's 2:17 and I'll be leaving at 2:30. I have to prepare for our Young People Fellowship. :)

Huhuhuhu, the attendance notebook is missing. I'm quite hungry, I guess?

My friend watched TSwift's concert last night and I think she enjoyed much. So I don't know if I can talk to her about clouds and books and random things. HAHA :) If she reads this, she's gonna tickle me again. :( YES SHE'S TORTURING ME. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!

:) hmmm. I miss my high school best friends and friends and classmates and schoolmates and teachers and EVERYONE else and EVERYTHING ELSE who and which became a part of my high school years. Yeah.

I miss JS PROM and FORMAL DINNER. :(

My room's a mess and I can not escape the biting reality that my mom's gonna bite me if I don't clean it Hahaha Nah. My mom does not bite. :D hahaha

Hmm. Now YM says Mikee Joves is online.

Ugh. I have to go now. :(

I told you this a very random post. Oh, look, julienne sweetypie is online and now, she's offline, according to YM. RANDOM POST! RANDOM POST! RANDOM CONTENT! FROM A RANDOM PERSON WHO WAS CHOSEN THROUGH RANDOM SAMPLING IN A RANDOM RESEARCH STUDY BY A RANDOM PERSON AS WELL. SOOOOOOO RANDOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!

Will write about TANGLED later. :)

I'm A Sinner Saved By Grace :)

2011-02-19T21:45:00.000-08:00

Today's the Lord's day again! :)

Hahaha I am late for sunday school. :((

The attendance notebook is missing. :((

The message of God today is truly wonderful. :)

The text is Ezekiel 36: 25-27 which says:

"Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you. (25)

A new heart will I also give you,and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. (26)

And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgements, and do them. " (27)

This will be done only upon the acceptance of Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior.

Today's my salvation day. :)

I hope it's yours, too.

PRAISES AND GLORY FOR HIM

2011-02-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

Hahaha

I have to sleep now. :)

I just can't help but feel happy for my cute blog. :D hahaha Yez, I did change the template. :)) And now, it looks all so GURLY. :)

What happened to the spelling of those words above? I dunno. :D hahaha I have to sleep. Really.

:) Praise God for all the blessings and trials! :)

He wants me to learn some things and I guess these are tests to gauge my faith as well. :)

Wherever I am, whatever I've done, whatever I have, it's PURELY because of God.

I am sure of this. :) I owe it all to Him. May His name be praised and glorified forever. :)

Tomorrow is the Lord's day SO I REALLY HAVE TO SLEEP NOW! :)

Good night!

Some Things Are Better Off As They Are

2011-02-19T06:17:00.001-08:00

It's pathetic. I'm pathetic.

I've been thinking for quite some time, wouldn't it be better if I stay content with this? I mean, he talks to me, I talk to him. We crack jokes together, we laugh at each other's craziness. Wouldn't it be better if we'd stay like this?

I don't know.

Honestly, I don't know.

Love is making things complicated, REALLY.

If I continue hoping that one day he'll see me in a different way, then I'll end up keeping myself locked up in my make believe world. Now, I'm starting to think things over. Really think things over and use the central route for elaboration (refer to Petty and Cacioppo's Elaboration Likelihood Model).

Maybe it's better this way.

Maybe I'd be happier.

Maybe if we stay this way, I guess I won't get hurt.

Maybe I'd feel more open to him.

It's just a matter of being contented with what you have.

Mind over matter.

Optimism.

I guess I should start treating him the way he treats me.

Maybe I should start it. Now.

IN DENIAL

2011-02-09T07:01:00.000-08:00

I saw him today.

Yes. I did. I even sat somewhere near him.

We didn't really talk.

Yes. We just sat there, catching glimpses of each other.

We can't look at each other.

It's an unspoken rule.

He looked lethargic.

I know the reason why and it was well, a bed of his own making.

Anyway.

It took me how many months? I dunno, to finally take what I think and feel here.

I didn't want to admit.

I guess I don't even want to say it.

I am not going to tell it to anyone.

Why do I have to feel this way, right?

Of all the people?

But I am happy with this.

And I am feeling a dialectic tension here. :P

Happy to see him.

Happy to at least throw a glance.

Happy to see him smile at me.

Happy just to be sitting across him.

I'm happy enough to feel him near me, even without the presence of words.

LOL PART TWO.

2011-01-25T05:34:00.000-08:00

Since I talked about laugh in my previous post, well, I think I'd write more about it because I do it more often than I breathe. HAHAHAHA :D

Anyway, some people think that they know me wholly because they know my "personality". Yes, I am stereotyped, people! :) My schoolmates would prolly say "____? Oh yes, I know her. She's the bubbly girl who sure has a lot of sunshine in her personality."

That's true.

Nonetheless, my easily laughter would not tell you everything about me. All I know is that sometimes, it can mask the emotions I feel and even the deepest structure of my entity. NOSEBLEED. X(

AHAHAHAHA :D Then again, I'll just laugh out loud because my Heavenly Father surely, definitely, absolutely sees me through :D

Laugh Out Loud

2011-01-23T05:06:00.000-08:00

I laugh when people laugh specially when it sounds contagious. :D

Some people like the way I laugh and I came to believe that it's true. Never did I know that it was "unbecoming of a lady" until my granny told me. I was scolded, honestly. She said it wasn't nice and I have to stop laughing that way. Of course, I felt sad.

Well, I really don't want to change my "laugh" cause I feel like if I don't laugh that way, then it's not "me". I dunno. Hahahahaha.

Now count how many times I said the word "laugh". HAHAHAHAHA :P

I want to laugh with all my heart. I don't know if I will change but at this moment, if I think something's funny, then I'm really gonna laugh my heart out till my stomach gives up. :D

"SHE'S CHASING ME"

2011-01-22T21:07:00.000-08:00

Hahaha

This happened a few weeks ago. I was thinking of the possibility of running into my professor in the corner of Padre Faura. My class with this professor starts at 7 so at around 6:30, I was walking towards the said street. After taking around 5 steps, I saw someone in my side, which by surprise, (yes, I was surprised) is my professor. LOL

I didn't know what to do. Should I greet him/her? Should I just keep quiet? Should I pretend that I did not see him/her? But what if he/she saw me? Haha

Within those milliseconds, I sure did have a lot of thoughts swirling in my head.

So here's what I did.

"Sir/Ma'am __________"

There was no reply. I guess I was not heard. My professor "overtook" some people and I did the same thing. So I was like chasing him/her and suddenly, I said in quite a loud voice, "Sir/Ma'am________!

My professor looked behind and I said, "Good morning" And what made me feel embarrassed was the amused smile across his face as he/she greeted me back. :/

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO ME. REALLY.

At least, I have an excuse: It's 6:30 in the morning people. I was half asleep. :D

HAHAHA ") END OF STORY. :)

Earthly things first?

2011-01-22T20:39:00.000-08:00

Today is the Lord's day! :)

I was 10 minutes late for our Sunday school. :( Ugh. Anyway... I resumed the position of being the "secretary" or attendance checker today. :D It's not an easy job but it's for God, so it's going to be fine and worth the effort. :)

Today's message for the morning service was about the parable in Matthew 13:44-46 which says:

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field.(44)

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchantman, seeking goodly pearls: (45)

Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it." (46)

The kingdom of heaven is likened to a field which everyone sees and passes through. What is meant by this? According to our pastor, salvation is open to everyone. Anyone can be saved. A lot of people have heard of the Gospel and yet, they chose to ignore it.

That's quite saddening, in my opinion.

Many of us focuses too much on earthly things. But all these will pass away when Lord Jesus Christ comes back. All of the things here on earth will be destroyed so why would we want to have them still?

Have you ever thought of what will happen after you die?

I'd better end this post with this,

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"

-Mark 8:36

BECAUSE HE CHOSE ME.

2011-01-22T06:35:00.001-08:00

It's been a long time since I posted something here. HAHAHAHA

Anyway, it's 2011. Yes, another year to face with God's assured guidance.

At this moment, I am dealing with 20 units of school load.

God is truly wonderful because He sure does work in mysterious ways in my life. :D

I have four major subjects, two GE subjects and bowling for my P.E. I have lotsa things to do and I am well wasting my time here. hahaha But I think I'd rather encode my thoughts and feelings before I forget them.

Where do I start? COHERENCE is still not with me. . . Hmmm.

I miss my high school best friends. I hope, with God's help, we'll be able to get through this stage again. :) I also miss my friend, my brother, my tutee and my boo, _______________. I've been missing a lot of people lately.

I've been to this awesome advertising firm, which I choose to keep as a secret, yesterday. Well the presence of those people in that org certainly made me think twice. So where will I go in the future? I dunno. Whatever God wills. . .

I want to write a poem but the words are playing with me. Besides I'm assuming that the next poem I'm going to write is something tragic again. And I don't know why I want these stories to end in a very disturbing way. Perhaps, they're mirrors of my fears? I DON'T KNOW. :)

I am sixteen? Yes. I am, I am. I am. I am feeling it. I guess my friend, Ben, is right. At this stage, you'll be having lotsa crushes. Surely, I have them numbered but still, they seem so many already. :P HAHAHAHA What am I saying? I am disclosing so much information.

I should sleep now. :) Choir's practice today turned out to be fine. But we have to polish out those outta beat stanzas.

I should sleep now. My hair's all arranged. :( I don't want to remove my 'do.

I should sleep now. Oh, my uncle got married and I am terribly missing him. I don't really think of him cause if I do, then memories will make my eyes red and turn me into a reindeer.

I should sleep now. When will I stop sinning? I can't wait for the day when I'll be caught up in the clouds with my fellow brothers and sisters. I don't want to upset God with my mistakes and transgressions. I want to please Him and make Him proud of me. I want to encourage people to open up their minds to God and our Savior, Jesus Christ. I want them to know of His salvation plans. I want to have an enormous faith that can really move mountains. I want to serve God will all my heart, mind and soul. I want to get rid of my earthly wants, needs, attitudes and behaviors. I want to praise Him and glorify Him for His unending love that is continuously shown towards me, despite my wrongdoings and shortcomings. I want to be with Him. Am I ready? Have I fulfilled my purpose. What if tonight, I die? Am I ready to see God in the face and say, "Father, I'm home"? Can I stand proud and look Him in the eye? If I leave this place tonight, will I not be leaving an unfinished business? If I face my Creator and Savior, will He say "Well done thy good and faithful servant"? Have I done much? Have I done my responsibility?

I am not yet halfway.

What should I do?

I am not yet fully clean of my worldliness.

What should I do?

I should sleep now.

But before that, I must do one more thing, just one last thing, I must speak with Him, my God, my Creator, my Provider, my Savior.

I must.

Happy Vacation :)

2010-10-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

Everyone's enjoying! First semester's over, grades are out, hardships are temporarily celebrating their vacation somewhere else, professors are nicer and I am wasting my time. T.T

I want to do something productive. :) hahahah Well, posting here seems to be productive. . . hahaha

I am not doing my responsibility. I am wasting the time God has given me. Really. If I have used it wisely, well I could have at least given out hundreds of tracts and shared the Word of God to a lot of people. I am not here to do what I want. I am here to do what God wants me to do and besides, I have to show Our Father how thankful I am for his salvation and love.

Almost all of the people in this world seek out their purpose in life. Well, I know mine already and yet, I am procrastinating here in this four cornered room with my laptop in front of my weary eyes. I have one week left. That's a long week ahead. Hmmm... :) Maybe sometime in the middle of that week I die. Who knows? God holds our lives. He lent it to us, he can take it away anytime. :) So I better start pulling myself together; enough DVDs, enough books, enough playing games. I BETTER STOP FOOLING AROUND. :)

May God's name be glorified forever and may our Savior, Jesus Christ reign in our hearts always. Life here is not really important; what we must think of is what will happen to us when it ends. :)

Ciao!

Happy New Year!!!! :)

2010-01-07T03:37:00.000-08:00

Happy new year. :) hehe well back to school again. Honestly, I don't want to go back to manila. I want to stay in the province. hehehe But I'm left with no option. :( I'm so excited to see my classmates again and learn new lessons but I don't want to attend one class. Just one class. I really don't want to see him but again, I'm left with no choice. He should be a part of my life no matter how much i detest him... Moving on . . .

Hey! A lot of wonderful things happened to me during the first two days of my first week. Our report in Psych turned out to be awesome, well in my opinion and I'm pretty sure I'm right, neahahaha. And Spanish class was fun and um,, I finally understood the lessons that were discussed in math 11. whew. hahaha But I'm CURRENTLY having troubles in factoring plus, we have a humongous homework(about it) to be passed on Monday. hehe. Oh, and we'll have our first exam in NatSci on Monday as well. :) What a blast! hehe

By the way, nothing happened in the conference in Copenhagen. Well not really nothing but i think nothing much happened. hehehe (whatever.,) It seems like the people are avoiding or maybe escaping the fact that some countries are about to vanish within a couple of months or maybe some years. . .

Come on people. wake up. It's new year. Do something new. Stop sitting around and doing nothing. Do what you must, whoever you are. Do what you can, citizens... pfffftttt. i wish i can do something great for the environment. :)

my time (allotted for this) is running out. I still have to prepare for tomorrow. :)
hahahahahahahahahaha i want to laugh and laugh till my stomach aches. hehe

SILYA. :) Noleen, if you happen to read this, forget what you just saw. hahahaha

First Sem A.Y.'09-'10

2009-12-14T02:37:00.000-08:00

I just want to share what happened to me last sem. :)

BA OrCom(Organizational Communication, okay?)
Almost everyone thinks that the BA people are stupid and not capable of having GREAT jobs in the future and I loathe them for stereotyping us. Hahaha. Seriously, I hate it when they ask me "What's OrCom?" Moving on. . .

I never learned much from Philippine History until I met Sir Ong. Hahaha. (Naks) I'm not kidding. He's a great instructor and he never failed to make me laugh every time we meet in class. I wish all my professors would be like him. :)

Sir Jireh is the best professor in Math I have ever met. He'll never give up on you so don't give up on yourself. He's too intelligent. (NOSEBLEED) :p

beeeeppppp.....

***********************************************************************************

SO UNBELIEVABLE: I went to Quezon as part of our History class... ALONE. Take note I'm alone. :) hehe I thought my parents would never allow me but they did. Well I got 10 bonus points for joining that educational trip. :)

GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT: I finished the race(fun run) on time! It's our final exam in PE. (5 km, 45 minutes) I got so dizzy after I ran and I had asthma for around 3 months but it's worth it. Hehe, PRAISE GOD. :)

I CAN'T BELIEVE: that I passed the Philosophy final oral exam. :) I got a 2.0 for answering the most dreaded question(I guess it's the most dreaded question, haha). I finally learned how to love these guys: Tarski, Joachim and James(though they always made my head ache) THANK YOU GOD! :)

FUNNIEST QUESTION I GOT: You're not sleeping?

THE-NOT-SO-ME-ACT: I intentionally went to class around ten minutes after our professor entered the room. I was half mad at her for telling me that she'll give me a 4.0 for my outline.

UP FREEBIES: BIC ball pens :) and the thing you use for shaving haha. :)

I NEVER KNEW: that one of my favorite places to kill time is the "tambayan" of a fraternity. hehe. :) good thing "they" weren't there when I was there. gets? hehe

I LOVE TO: read the stuff written on the the cubicles in the CR. They're funny.

MY TAMBAYANS: Library(whenever I'm early and when I have to study)
"Stone" tables in the garden(final exams)
in front of the oblation statue(whenever our block holds a meeting)

FAVORITE FOOD IN OUR CAFETERIA: Bacon Wrapped Hotdog Sandwich. You have to try this. It's "heaven".

EVERY: Friday is fast food day. We successfully raided all the fast food chain/s(?) in Pedro Gil.

UNFORGETTABLE STUFF:
Ondoy. Noleen and I almost swam just to get home. Good thing my father was there. :)

I got the highest score in our first History exam. :) MAY GOD BE PRAISED. :)

Our group in Spanish got a more-than-perfect score for the script. ;) God really works in mysterious ways.

I got a two-point deduction in the Spanish exam for not following instructions. :(

96% for the night we spend doing our histo paper by God's unending grace. (Noleen, Suzie,Ysa and April)

National Museum Field Trip. I met someone. Haha. ;)

Mi Casa en Tayabas no es rapido. Es mucho lento. :) haha

:)

2009-12-13T04:17:00.000-08:00

Beep beep.

What am I going to say here? Actually, I have nothing to say. I just wanted to post something. HAHAHAHA. :) So I have one day left to produce a research topic that should satisfy my instructor. Everyone's supporting me. They say I can make it. They are not giving up on me. What's sad is I'm already giving up. I feel so dumb. Everyone's helping me. I guess I should start helping myself and stop sulking. I can't change the situation but I can change my attitude towards it. :) That's good news. If I don't get what I want, that's fine. God knows what I should have and He knows what's best... (Smile girl, smile.) hehehe. Okay. Wish me luck guys.

????????

2009-12-12T01:47:00.000-08:00

i don't know what to do. Really. I'm running out of research topics. My professor tells me to drop his subject. He says that I'm not capable of doing a research paper. He says I'm not using my mind. What now? Christmas is near and I'm not sure if this year's gonna be a happy one for me. I don't want to drop that subject. I once said it's only for quitters (and losers). I'm running out of options too. And I'm really getting tired of being mocked and shamed everyday. Everything's going to be fine in the end, I know but now, it seems like there's no hope. Maybe I'm being so "emo", so pessimistic. I don't know. I look depressed... I wish it would all end now. Some people just can't understand me 'cause they've never been in my shoes. pffftttt. . . :(

In Our Next Lifetime

2009-10-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

I'm miserable when I'm daydreaming.
I lose all the sanity that is left with me.
All the happiness that I felt is fleeting
yet I can't stop myself from thinking of thee.

I broke all the rules when I loved you.
I don't care if I'm taking the wrong way.
I know all my dreams are unlikely to be true.
It's okay, I'm bound to give out tears at the end of the day.

They say the universe will conspire to make it happen.
You're leaving and I won't see you for, who knows? forever?
All my fantasies can't happen in all of a sudden
So farewell my love, I'll make sure, next time, we'll be together.

I'm Innocent. Am I not?

2009-10-20T22:40:00.000-07:00

The wind whispers the death of a poor soul

as the fire hisses the fear of a bereaved girl.

You'll never know how she played this evil role

because she seemed nothing but an innocent pearl.

Parting Words

2009-08-31T03:49:00.000-07:00

Yeah, maybe I did something wrong. I often ignored you before. I didn't see you as "you" . I didn't see your worth. I treated you badly because I was blinded back then. (I don't even want to remember that I loved that freak). I may have hurt your feelings but I'm sure as hell that I did everything I could just to show you that I'm sorry. I have almost forsaken other people just to defend you (though I know you're the one wrong). That's quite stupid of me...

I almost forgot about my own self. I always hoped that everything'll be worth it in the end. I foolishly hoped that I can be happy. But still, I ended up hurting myself when I found out that you still love her. I wanted to ask you why.

She has done nothing for you. She has given nothing but pain and you still loved her? Why can't you see the people who truly love you? Am I really just your friend? Your "sister"?

What about your promise? You said that you'll forget everyone else in the world except me. I hear those words everytime I remember that I was one of the last few persons who knew that you were leaving. You broke your promise. It didn't even last for a year. How am I supposed to believe you now? I guess I really should forget you, your sugar coated vows and all those good times we shared.

I should have known that everything was over when we both said goodbye.

CAUTION

2009-08-31T03:42:00.000-07:00

Don't copy anything. I guess I don't need to overcomplicate my request, right? You can read, laugh, criticize or give out comments. That's all you can do.

Just An Ordinary Day

2009-07-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Thank God for adding another year in my life. I’m getting older and that’s what I don’t like about celebrating my birthday. A lot of surprises are in store for me and I simply don’t like them. Examples of these surprises are responsibilities, problems, responsibilities, difficulties, responsibilities and hardships.

It’s not that I’m complaining. I’m just quite scared or maybe scared because I know that their level of difficulty is not like before. I see them almost everyday of my life when I was in high school so I got accustomed living with them. Thanks to our headmaster, Prof. Rollie and the rest of the administration, I learned how to embrace suffering so coping with these things wouldn’t be so hard. In addition, God is always there for me. He would never leave me, just like what He promised.

I feel sad, too. Birthdays don’t necessarily mean enjoyment and happiness, right? For the past four years, I’ve celebrated them with the special people in my life whom I have cherished and loved. I got used seeing them smiling and greeting me. They make me feel special all the time. I miss them so much. I miss them and I do want to celebrate this special day with them.

How I wish I could be given another chance to spend another day with them in the same room where we laughed, cried, fought, played and made fun of ourselves. I miss you guys, I miss you coleen, veni, maxi, lovely, aya, josa, mikee, jeremy, nelea, glo, mela, ate shane, anna, meg, kat, srj, angel, gab, jc, kristian, axel, morena, eug and of course prof tata and the rest of the darwin family. Batch Kaloqohan, this day won’t be complete and special without you…